Updated: Dec 19, 2018
Due to technical difficulties outside of my control (the ceiling is bleeding again and this time it's really bad), this week's regularly scheduled newsletter will be delayed by a day.
Tune in tomorrow for more excuses!
Sorry about that. I had to get everything mopped up before the piranha ants smelled blood and descended upon the building. But now that that's all cleared up, I can get back to our regularly-scheduled newsletter. Thank you all for your patience.
Hey, speaking of patience... I know a lot of you are wondering why I haven't made any new updates to the Tales section of this blog. I suppose this would be a good place to pivot into
WHAT THE HELL IS JACK DOING?
(Is this title working? I'm open to feedback...)
Tales from the Gas Station Volume 2 is still in progress. I don't want to give too much away, but as I mentioned in my NoSleep interview, the second book will contain the entirety of the Body Snatchers story arc.
This has presented a minor challenge.
When I started writing Volume One, I had already completed the online component of the story (the dark god arc.) This new story arc is different. Basically, I've written the two pieces of the story in tandem. There are a lot of things I've alluded to in the Christmas story and the "How did we get here" arc that will be elaborated upon in Volume Two.
However, I've reached a point where I don't know how much more I can say without spoiling some major surprises that I have in store for the second book.
My original draft of the epilogue to "How did we get here" was long. Longer than anything I'd ever posted. In fact, it was so long it exceeded Reddit's character limit for a single post. Fortunately for everyone, this forced me to stop and reevaluate what I was doing before I accidentally Lord-of-the-Ringsed an otherwise great ending to one of the gas station's darkest chapters.
I rewrote Part 12. Then rewrote it again. And again. And in the process, I've come to realize something. Part 12 isn't really a Part 12 at all. It's a Part 1 to a completely new story, because "How did we get here" already got its ending, and I don't think any kind of epilogue can make it better.
So where does that leave us?
As usual, I don't really know. I'm still trying to figure that out.
IN OTHER NEWS,
You may have heard that an enormous group of NoSleep regulars have come together to form "the Monstronomicon," a collection of one hundred tales of monstrous horror. If you're into that sort of thing, maybe go check it out. I'm not saying that one of those seventy authors is secretly an alias of mine, but I'm not not saying that either.
Okay, that's enough vagueness for now. Let's move on to community questions. But first...
Happy (almost) birthday, Rebeka Washington!
Rebeka will be turning one year older on December 28th. May your upcoming year contain good surprises and minimal spiders (unless you're into that kind of thing, in which case, more spiders to ya)!
Remember Seltzer water and lemon for blood - danielacarop
Thank you. I tried throwing Sprite onto the ceiling. I had mixed results.
I will cry tears of joy if you add a zombie-dragon-unicorn to your story. Can it's name be Meowdy? - Maddy Bowden
If a zombie-dragon-unicorn shows up at the gas station and doesn't already have a name, I'll be sure to remember.
The real question, though, is "what kind of gas mileage do you get with that 'classic' tuner?" - Nononymouse Thanks for playing
I don't know what that means.
So what happens when you jump and press the circle button? - Gavin Prothro
I'm not sure... Did you mean to post that question to a different blog?
Why does Spencer hate you so much? You seem like such a nice guy. -
Thank you. And I don't know. Maybe he's just upset that I cost him a really cushy job working for the dark god.
If you had spend a night in a locked, windowless room with either Spencer Middleton and Doctor Howard, who would you choose and why? - Evan Poe
I think I'd have to choose Doctor Howard. At least he hires other people to do his dirty work for him. Worst case scenario, I might be able to take the old man in a fight. But knowing Spencer, he'd probably try to MacGyver a lock pick out of my rib bone or something.
I hope you continue making more stories because we truly enjoy your tales. Also what are your thoughts about making movie/animation version of your stories? - perez.maryjoy
I'm open to the idea. But I'm very protective of this story and won't sign off unless I think the adaptation can be done correctly.
I’ve got a question, what’s the worst “normal” customer you’ve had? - castpaw12
Oh man. Probably chervil guy.
A few years back, I had a customer come into the gas station and ask if we sold "chervil." If you're like me, you probably have no idea what the hell that is. It's a type of french herb. Not the kind of thing you'd expect to find at a gas station. The guy asked if I would check with our grocery suppliers and see about ordering some. I'll be honest; I didn't even bother.
A few weeks later, the guy comes back into the gas station and asks if I got in touch with my vendors to get him some chervil. I told him that we're a gas station. We don't sell chervil. Guy throws a fit and hits me right in the chest before storming out. The last thing he says is, "Thanks for nothing!"
I don't know why, but I think about chervil guy a lot.
Will it be possible to change our usernames later or something like that on this site? Also have a nice day Jack, and pls take care of Marlboro if he is still around. ^^ - lars.bergesen
I'm really not sure. I'm using the custom wix blog format, so I guess it's a technical question for wix?
And (spoiler!) Marlboro is still around, but he doesn't need me to take care of him.
Is "your biggest fan" Spencer? I mean, he told Jack to open the gift with the gun in it and has quite the obsession with him, yet never kills him despite being more than able. - djxomb
I actually do know the identity of my biggest fan, and it is not Spencer. As to his hesitancy to kill me, it hasn't always been for lack of trying.
But as for his continued failure to get rid of me... maybe he gets lonely, too.
In relevance to pocket dimensions. Are you thinking of bringing Jerry back. :) his character really suits Jack's and honestly, I love him lol when I read the end of part 11 that shit fucked me up. - djxomb
Jerry never went anywhere. He's still here. In our hearts.
What's going on with o'brian? I don't know, this group has been a great set with Jack. I'd really hate to see them all gone for good. So, pocket dimensions. - djxomb
All will be revealed in time.
Also, with what "Antonio" says, the thing Jack doesn't have (no spoilers) instead, is he maybe a descendant of something deeper? - djxomb
If you have any questions you'd like to see me weasel out of answering, comment below and I'll think up another excuse to get out of it next week.
As always thanks for reading. I love you all. (Except for you, Spencer. I know you're reading this. You're so predictable.)